Reconciliation

In the ancient manuscripts it is written through Jesus we have been given a ministry of reconciliation. We are first reconciled to God because all our sin, everything we’ve ever done wrong and will do wrong, has been paid for by Jesus on the cross. As a result there is no longer anything preventing us from knowing and having a relationship with the God who is the creator of all things. But it’s also a ministry of reconciliation between people. I wrote before on how my marriage was restored after a difficult time.

I’ve been in a very dark place the past couple of months.  The enemy knows us well, and knows what buttons to push and when we are vulnerable.  C.S. Lewis wrote in the Screwtape Letters that one of the greatest tactics of the enemy is to deny his existance. 

Some hurts from the past re-surfaced as people close to me recently and unknowingly touched the scars.  The enemy used this past hurt to cause me to mis-read  their intentions, believing the worst instead of the best.  Add to this physical pain from a condition I now believe to be a physical manifestation of the spiritual bondage and the negative, the lie was easier to believe. 

God makes a way for us to resolve this by encouraging us to talk to each other and work it out.  As I attempted to do this, the enemy cleverly convinced me to believe this matter was not up for discussion. 

The darkness grew and the cords grew tighter and tighter.  There were times I laid upon my bed paralyzed by depression and confusion, no longer believing I was valuable and ready to go home. 

I wrote some things in my blog during this time, which at best were unwise.  Those entries have been deleted, and if anyone was hurt or confused by them I apologize.  If you contact me at daveb.uk@hotmail.com, I can comment directly and apologize specifically.

Thank God for my church family, which wouldn’t let me go during this time.  Though they may not have been fully aware of what was going on, they stood by me and encouraged me through the darkness.

Things finally came to a head when I felt I could go no further, and the meeting was arranged that the enemy had lied about saying it wasn’t open for discussion.  I was able to share openly about the hurts of the past, and the salt that had been cast in the old wounds.  At one point, I burst into tears, unable to control my grief.  Not even I had realized how deeply I’d been affected. 

I received nothing but love and reassurance.  The lie was broken by the truth, a friendship restored.  There is still some more healing to do, but I now believe we’ll come out of this stronger than ever.  Thank God for the ministry of reconciliation!

(PS – As I’m writing this, I’m noting the pain in my leg, the physical manifestation I referred to earlier, is practically gone.  This is a dramatic improvement over the way it felt even this morning.)